A few mildly important and journey-altering events have taken place in the past two days so I thought you all would be interested in knowing why I won't be visiting as many cities as I previously thought I would...
I tried to leave Birmingham yesterday. Everything was back in the car and mostly in good order...I feel as if my impeccable organization skills have become not-so-impeccable because I feel like I just don't care anymore. Maybe that's what happens when you can feel the California being sucked out of you. I said goodbye to my favorite Jon and dearest Beau. I even got in the bitty Versa and zipped away towards North Carolina and, despite my first worries of starting out driving so late (sorry, mum!), I couldn't get enough of that yellow-tinged air that always occurs everywhere in the world when the sun is about to set.
I had been set up with friends of Jon and Beau to stay in Asheville, North Carolina, for two nights and try to see why almost every person on this whole trip has recommended it. One sweet tea Southern girl told me last night that she thought if I go to Asheville then that's where I'll stay.
Side note: I think a blog post about all of the advice I've received is in order...
Then I get a phone call that made me turn back around and return to Birmingham for the night. It involved a lot of awkwardly implied "suggestions" that the timing for staying in Asheville was off. After a few more phone calls, I was turned around driving the 90 miles back to the place that I thought I was done with.
Normally, this wouldn't have bothered me much seeing as I've loved Alabama and clearly enjoyed the people in it. I think what really got to me was the fact that is was a hard place to leave but I had already talked myself into it. The larger reason was that I have to be in DC to meet someone on Sunday and then have an interview there on Monday morning (two blocks from the White House!) only to then have to drive to NYC for two interviews on Tuesday and Wednesday. That's a lot of driving and moving, if you didn't realize.
Basically, I was in the mental state that I had left one part of my life behind me and that everything else was about to start. This whole trip...rather...for the past four months I have not known what my future is going to be. I certainly am never deficient of ideas but not knowing where you're going to live or whether you even have job prospects is a bit daunting. After traveling for so long I guess I just delved into my own mind and learned to be very present in this adventure. There was nothing I really had to think about. There are no attachments. There was no time frame. I just needed a place that my heart loved and that calmed my mind.
So, now that I have to be certain places and actually have something important enough to put in my no-longer-lonely calendar I felt as if I was just turning my back on it. Yes, I know that may sound ridiculous and most of you are probably thinking, "But, Kaitlin, you're only behind one day!" And I say to you, "But, all of you stagnant shakers of the world, I had already moved on and there's a new life I'm starting to live!"
This change of mindset I've experienced in the past month made it frustrating to turn around and come back. Then again...there was a lightning storm I got to witness and pulling up to the house did kind of feel like home.
Today I'm going to try again. My body is yelling at me for a cup of tea, my hair straightener probably needs to cool off, there is one postcard to send to the lovely Anita back in Sacramento, and then I'll be heading down a highway of deja vu (sorry about the accents - I can't figure them out - where's an Apple employee when you need one?) through Alabama, the tip of Georgia, Tennessee, and into North Carolina for one night where I'm told I won't sleep much.
I asked Beau - who I'll now consider my coincidental friend of kindred spirit due to the two of us continuing to have the same plans and problems - why I keep getting sucked back in to Birmingham. He told me it was the southern quicksand. There really is no better way to describe it.
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