Tuesday, July 26, 2011

What I've Learned in New York

I feel the shame of not having updated this in 10 days and I originally wanted to just talk about Brooklyn but decided that I was in a "list" mood.  Here is a list of things that I have learned (so far) in/about New York and Brooklyn.

- California wine is hard to come by.  And you only notice if you're from California.
- You need to have a good walking look and a good subway look.  Both involve making yourself look like you're deep in thought, a lot of concentrating on the ground, and basically pretending like you're pissed off.  I imagine myself mad at my sister.  It works pretty well.
- New York humor is very to-the-point, a little harsh, and very sarcastic.  Don't be afraid of being slightly racist and/or throwing out some stereotypes.  For this I will never understand how Berkeley people could like New York.  Maybe that's why none of them live here.
- Learn your neighborhood personalities.  I work three blocks from TriBeCa (translated from New York-ese to "triangle below Canal") but it's a different world to those of us in the Financial District.  Some nights, when I'm working at Corsino in the meatpacking district, I get to deal with a lot of yuppies wearing their "everyday clothes" that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe.  Once again: different neighborhood.
- Californians say "liquor store" for any type of small store selling random food and drink items that doesn't quite qualify as a market.  New Yorkers say "bodega."
- You may not buy wine or liquor in a market.  Go to a bodega or liquor store or deli.
- You need a deli near you to survive.  What else do you do when you want a tall can to go with your poor, young Brooklynite dinner at 1am?
- Dunkin' Donuts is an acceptable breakfast/coffee alternative.  It doesn't matter how much money you make.  When I mentioned that we have them in California but that nobody goes to them I widened a lot of eyes.  I was promptly excused from work to go buy a donut from there.  When I said I don't drink coffee I feel like I just told them Santa Claus isn't real.  Don't ask me what happened when I let slip that I had never tried Red Mango.  It started out with a coworker saying he lived in a building with a Red Mango.  I asked, "Like, a huge red mango in the lobby or something?" Truth.
- Believe everything you hear on the news about the weather.
- There are no stars in New York.  Really.  Look up.  No stars. Ok...maybe about 5 on really clear nights when the humidity doesn't trap the fumes of New York life and make you feel like you're being steamed alive.
- McDonald's coffee and orange juice is also acceptable.  That doesn't mean I'm ever going to go there, though.
- When asking a question, there is no concept of time.  Ask the first person you see otherwise you will never get an answer and spend too much time looking for someone who seems worthy of being asked your question.
- You must be fearless.  It's true.  Trust me.
- You must also know that at some point you will probably be mugged.  The good thing is that a lot of people are mugged and hardly any of them are shot! Stop cringing, mum.
- I am a "bridge and tunnel" New Yorker...meaning I live outside of Manhattan and take a bridge or tunnel to get in and out of the city.  If someone ever calls you this then they probably shouldn't be your friend because they're too snooty.
- "WASPy" = "preppy."  It stands for something like "White Anglo-Saxon Protestant."
- Cuban food is your Mexican food alternative...even though they're practically the same thing.
- You don't need to wear tennis shoes everywhere you go.  Yeah, you're going to walk a lot more than you imagined, but you don't have to geek yourself out to do it.  I'm secretly happy I never thought tennis shoes were fashionable and therefore never wear them unless I'm going for a run.  Or playing tennis, I guess.
- New Jersey is "Jersey."
- You had better be comfortable cussing.  My mum's insistence on me having "the mouth of a construction worker" has made me fit in better at my job.  And I work in a law firm.  Imagine how construction workers must talk.  I know because we represent them.
- The best advice I received was to buy an unlimited monthly MetroCard (useful for the subways and buses).
- Girls have to play very hard to get.  Being a California girl makes you a bit "hunted."  Or "tested."  We're described as much nicer than east coast girls, easy-going, and overly friendly.  This can be really good or really bad.
- No matter what they say, you can trust New Yorkers.
- The only mean people on the subways are people who don't live in New York.
- Carry cash.  Food vendors and restaurants are practically scared of credit/debit cards.
- Keep up-to-date with your MTA schedule (Metropolitan Transit Authority- aka the subway).  A 15-minute ride on the subway could turn into a 40-minute one if you don't know which subway lines are under construction.
- Explore the city.  Don't stop exploring.  Ever.  Go to different neighborhoods and boroughs for some variety.  If you are one of those people that despise Manhattan and never leave Brooklyn then what are you really here for?  What type of person are you?

This is just a small list of things that I've noticed since moving here.  It's hard to believe that I've already been here for over five weeks.  As I think of more things to add to this list then I'll post them.  I'll also post a bit more regularly now that I'm settling into my new schedule.  I work from 9:30am-5:30pm, Monday through Friday, at a law firm in the Financial District about a block and a half away from the World Trade Center.  Or, rather, the building and new memorial that opens in September on the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  I am one of two legal assistants for a litigation attorney who is more than excited to teach me everything I'll ever need to know about the law.  The other legal assistant, Christine, is a comedian.  I obviously have a lot of fun at work.  About 3-4 nights a week I work at Corsino, a California/Italian-esque type restaurant in the meatpacking district.  I'm a hostess there so I basically just stand there and look pretty while I run the restaurant.  I didn't need the job but I was kind of pushed into it and since I love working in restaurants I don't mind too much.  It lets me explore more and be around people my age.

Anyway...that's the uber-quick update on my life for those of you I forgot to tell.  Expect another update in a day or two with pictures of Brooklyn!  Don't get too excited!

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